‘Tis the season!! Family and friends alike have descended upon your abode and like no time has passed at all they are all at each others throats/yours over silly debates over politics, which cousin in the family had the best shot at going to a DIII school, whether grandpa is actually racist or just a man of is times. The list goes on and on! Rather than waste hours of your precious time arguing about questions that don’t have answers, I present a pursuit that is worth while: schooling your dumb/more likely to be cucked later in life relations in sports questions that have definitive answers. Without further ado I give you the first every LackDaddy Holiday Debate Topic
Julio Jones VS Antonio Brown
Julio Jones: 6’3, 220 LBS, 40 Yard Dash 4.39, Vertical 38.5, 20 Yard Shuttle 4.25
Antonio Brown: 5’10, 181 LBS, 40 Yard Dash 4.47, 33.5, 20 Yard Shuttle 4.18
No contest here at all, Julio has always been regarded as the ideal body type for a bonafide #1 WR in the NFL. His size should make him a threat in the red zone(which he isn’t), while also allowing him to not get jammed by DB’s at the line of scrimmage, he’s surprisingly fast given his size, vertical is off the charts and the only thing he surrenders to Brown is his shuttle time giving Brown an edge in agility when it comes to route running.
Another no contest here. I wouldn’t go as far as saying that Julio is completely made of glass but no one has ever mistaken him for an iron man. In his 7 year career Julio has started 16 games in a season just twice and played only 5 games in his third season after breaking his foot. Brown meanwhile has played all 16 games 4 times in his career, including three seasons in a row. Even years when he’s “healthy” it appears that Jones has some sort of lower body issue that will hold him back in games and cause him to disappear from the stat sheets despite his starting. This is not the case with Brown as when he’s in the lineup, he’s in the lineup and as dangerous as ever. I can already hear Cuckleberry and Ginger Jim screaming about how Brown only started 9 games his rookie year, yea true but that wasn’t due to injury he was buried on the depth chart behind the likes of Hines Ward(future HOF), Antwaan Randle El(Pro Bowl), Mike Wallace(Pro Bowl), and Emmanuel Sanders(Pro Bowl), not easy to crack that lineup as a 6th round pick out of Central Michigan. So go gripe somewhere else you cucks.
This is the nitty gritty where the Brown rises to the top one could say. Since 2011, Julio’s rookie year and Brown’s second year, thru this season they have 5 and 6 1,000 yard receiving seasons respectively. What I think really stands out though is how much more consistent Brown has been during this time. For 5 seasons in a row now he’s had over 100 receptions and topped over 1,500 yards receiving in all but one of these years(his 1,499 yard season is 1,500 in my book). Not to mention Brown has had having double digit touchdowns each of the last three seasons, a feat Julio has achieved just once in his career.
Julio on the other hand, while still listing truly impressive lines, has only managed to top 100 receptions just twice in his career, and those also happen to be the only seasons he’s gone over 1,500 yards as well. I can already hear the Julio apologists fighting back tears now and screaming,”If Julio stayed healthy he would crush Brown in all these numbers, stop being so mean LackDaddy”. To that I say tough. Football is a violent game and you have to be on the field in order to produce, just cause you’re injured all the time doesn’t give you an excuse for lower numbers.
Another fairly interesting aspect of this takes on of whether these two make those around them better or they’re better because who their around, i.e. Matt Ryan VS Ben Roethlisberger. For all the Julio guys thinking this is about to be the easiest dub of all time, not so fast my friends. It’d be easy to just say that Big Ben is the better QB as he’s been to 3 Super Bowls and has won two of them, but this debate is not just an eye test. Ben Roethlisberger has thrown for over 4,000 yards just 4 times in his 14 year career with all but one of those coming after Antonio Brown’s rookie year(2010), coincidence? I think not.
Ryan on the other hand has crossed the 4,000 yard mark each of the last 6 years and if he finishes strong, this could be year 7, and he’s done this in just 10 seasons. Super Bowl rings be damned, when it comes to making an elite WR better Ryan clearly has the edge and if I have spell it even clearer for you thickheaded cucks, Ryan has surpassed the 4,500 yard passing mark 5 times, Ben has done it just once.
Advantage: Julio, which means that Brown is a better pure talent as a result of doing more with less.
Throw out the stat books on this one, this is where your WR proves he cares more about his team than himself. When it comes to blocking both are well accomplished and do it well, but getting truly physical with your blocks and punishing opposing players, only Brown has shown a true love of that. Going across the middle both are once again accomplished, but Brown wins yet again by a nose hair. It’s one thing for a 6’3 220lbs man to go across the middle in the NFL, it’s a whole different thing for a 5’10 181lbs dude, I was those dimensions less than a year ago, going across the middle and taking the hit, Brown it is! Finally, making the big play when it counts, and here we do have a true tie. Both always seem to be around the ball when the course of the game hangs in the balance and both have hauled in incredible catches to the benefit their team in the regular season. What will eventual move one in front of the other is making one of those catches in the playoffs that is the difference between winning or losing.
The final decision is clear, Antonio Brown is clearly the better wide receiver. He’s produced more, manages to stay healthy more often, plays with a less accomplished quarterback, and is willing to do all the little things better than Julio. Now go out there you filithy animals and rub this knowledge in your pathetic friends and family’s faces, and when you’ve drank up all their tears be sure to chase it down with some sort of festive beverage on your way to the ill DUI(DUI’s are not ill just for the record). Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to all and be sure to stay tuned for some more gifts from the The Redshirts coming real soon.